Conference of the Evil Powers

I thought you guys would enjoy this. It's a little more comedic than what I usually write. Can we pleeease read this out loud at a meeting sometime? With three actors?

Note: This will make a lot more sense if you're familiar with Harry Potter, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings. Okay, moving right along...


CONFERENCE OF THE EVIL POWERS

DARTH VADER: Hello. I am Darth Vader.
SAURON: And I am Sauron.
DV: Charmed.
S: Likewise.
DV: So…you’re the major evil power in your world?
S: I should say so. And you?
DV: Yes. Well, pretty much.
S: Hm? Explain.
D: *sigh* You see, technically I work under this other guy…but really I’m the one everyone’s afraid of.
S: Oh…Yeah, been there, done that.
D: What do you mean?
S: Well, when I first got started I was pageboy to the all-time evil god person.
D: Ooh! Impressive.
So how did you become your own power?
S: Um…
D: Yes?
S: I don’t really remember.
D: What?
S: It all happened two or three ages ago, if you know what I mean.
D: Okayyy…is an age a long time or something?
S: Very.
VOLDEMORT: Hey, guys.
D: Heyyy!
S: Yo, Voldy!
*cricket chirping*
V: NEVER call me that.
S: Sorry.
V: Really?
S: No.
D: So, how have things been in your world?
V: *sigh* Annoying, mostly. I mean, all I try to do is get my body back, and there’s always this skinny little green-eyed kid following me around! What’s up with that??
S: Ah, I know exactly what you mean! What is it with people being against you having a normal body, anyway? Just look at me! I’m an EYEBALL, for evil’s sake!
D: Yes, and I’m not the best off over here, either. I mean, what am I? Practically a robot! I can’t even talk in my regular voice!
V: Yeah, I guess that would be a disadvantage to having your world sci-fi.
S: What?
V: Sci-fi…you know, science fiction?
S: What is science?
D: Nevermind.
V: So, you know what else drives me insane?
D: What’s that?
S: No, wait, let me guess - you have a perfect plan laid out, and before you can turn around, there’s some old man with a white beard thwarting your efforts?
V: EXACTLY! I can’t get rid of him! How does he stand that beard, anyway? Doesn’t it get in the way?
S: I don’t know. But I have one of those people, too. His beard is not that long, but it makes him no less annoying.
V: How about you, Vader?
D: What - old wizened bearded man? Of course. And the worst part is, he always tries to turn old memories on me.
S: Old memories?
D: Well, he used to be my mentor. He likes bringing it up at the most inconvenient times.
V: Oh, right…the one in my world is the same way. We used to know each other, but I never liked him.
S: My, the two of you have quite unstable histories.
D: Excuse me?
V: Yeah, what’s that supposed to mean?
S: Well, your arch-nemeses are people you have earlier ties to. Seems like it would sort of undermine your all-powerful independence.
V: Hey, watch it.
S: We’ve been over this. I can’t do anything BUT watch it. Not like I have eyelids or anything.
D: At least you can see through your real eyes. The one time I get to see my son-
V: Hey, at least you HAVE your own eyes! I’m lucky if I can get a glimpse out of someone else’s turban every once in a while!
D: We might as well face it. All three of our lives are basically horrible.
V: Well obviously.
S: Therein lies the attraction of ultimate world domination.
*nods and affirmation all around*

This is too funny! You should mention hobbits in the discussion of 'normal' bodies.

Yay! I will start working on costume ideas.
Luna, join us in chat?