Pens and Quills Writing Society

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4 posters

A Moment's Thoughts

Swanny: Number of posts : 2
Age : 30
Registration date : 2011-04-08

Post n°1

A Moment's Thoughts

Swanny April 8th 2011, 10:16 pm

A Moment’s Thoughts

By James Swantek

Anxiety! Desperation!
An ever clicking tock.
I can see your face.

Confusion! More Confusion?
An ever winding road.
I can see a monarch's purity.

Isolation! Solitude!
Alone in my thoughts.
I can't begin to imagine yours.

Anxiety! Desperation!
An ever rinding woad.
You are beyond my reach.

More Confusion! No Confusion?
An ever ticking clock.
I hold you in my arms.

The days we spend apart,
Insignificant to the moments we share.
A picture is worth a thousand words.

A moment is worth a lifetime of thoughts.

lunacaelum

lunacaelum: Number of posts : 5
Age : 31
Registration date : 2011-02-10

Post n°2

Re: A Moment's Thoughts

lunacaelum April 15th 2011, 10:42 pm

I always like the way you conclude your poems!! It leaves the reader with something to think about. The switch of letters in "rinding woad" really add to the confused tone.

Alicia Carman

Alicia Carman: Number of posts : 35
Age : 31
Location : singin' in the rain
Registration date : 2009-10-06

Post n°3

Re: A Moment's Thoughts

Alicia Carman April 29th 2011, 10:08 pm

I love the contrast in tone of this poem. Some lines are tender, following right behind other lines that sound tortured. It does what a poem's supposed to do - makes you feel like this is real, whatever it is - because emotion are so often confusing that way. Perfect example:

More Confusion! No Confusion?
An ever ticking clock.
I hold you in my arms.

Very nice.