Started to write on a depressing morning.

So I started writing this one morning where I was feeling a little down, and I was wondering what you guys think of it.

The rain came down harder than hail. I pulled my hood over my head to shield me from the freezing downfall of water. I know I won't be missed by anyone when I am discovered missing. Everyone was already mad at me.

I am running away from home. Not even my parents would care.
I started my journy through the woods not too long before I tripped over a large tree root. I turned and gave the root an angry glare, and it seemed to be glowing. I raised an eyebrow, and out of curiosity I knelt down to inspect the glowing root. The second I touched it the strange root stopped its glowing. I overheard stories about these kinds of trees. I took my knife and cut a small piece of the root off. I continued on a little further holding the wood chip close. After a while I decided it was time to rest. I brought the chip up to my face and whispered something to it. Suddenly a pile of logs appeared in front of me. I put the piece of wood in a small pocket in my backpack and started to look for kindling. It then occurred to me that it was still raining. I would need to ask the chip of one more favor before i let it rest.

I pulled the chip back out and brought it close to my face and whispered to it: "Dear Earthmother, Please grant me shelter from the raging waters."

The chip glowed as the trees' canopies started to huddle together above me stopping the rain from pelting my sleeping area. The ground was also dried of any remaining water.




Thats all I have written. Please comment. Was it good? How could I improve and other things like that. Oh and this is A.J. by the way.

I like the feeling you start with. I'm with the character, which is...well, depressing, in this case. But effective for the first paragraph! Makes me wonder what's wrong/what has happened. But the piece is nicely set up for that to be introduced later.

After that, it seems kind of a sudden switch to describing the forest - what happened to the character's pain? Did he/she turn it off? Is it still there, but they're ignoring it? Is this forest somewhere new that they've never been before, so they're distracted from their problems as they notice what's around them? You may think about throwing in an explanation of one of these before the walking scene...

"Protection from the raging waters..." could be metaphorical, too. Like, not just the rain that's coming down but also everything that's wrong emotionally. Just a thought!

In answer to your question: I thought it was quite good. Favourite thing...progression of ideas? I think is how I want to describe it. And the beginning. Very poignant.

Thank you. Now I shall work on the homework you assigned me. Haha!